Printed to order. Ethically made. Ready to disrupt brunch.
Why Our Merch Doesn’t Suck
Classic fit, pre-shrunk, feels lived-in from day one.
Shirts To Remind Everyone Not To Be A Dick
Regular price
$63.00
Sale price
$63.00
Regular price
$70.00
Unit price
Soft, ethically made, and just loud enough to get you side-eyed at Whole Foods.
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Don't Be A Big*t, Unisex t-shirt
Don't Be A Conservative C*nt, Unisex t-shirt
Don't Be A Homophobic, Unisex t-shirt
Don't Be Transphobic, Unisex t-shirt
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✅ Printed to order. Ships separately from candles & aromas.
SHIRT DETAILS
• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)
• Light, breathable fabric with a bit of stretch
• Pre-shrunk, side-seamed, and built to last
• Made just for you when you order—because fast fashion is for fascists
TANK TOP DETAILS
This racerback tank is soft, lightweight, and hugs in all the right places. It’s got a flattering cut and raw edge seams for a little extra attitude.
- 50% polyester, 25% combed ring-spun cotton, 25% rayon
- Lightweight & breathable
- Pre-laundered so it won't suprise-shrink
- Made on demand because fast-fashion is for fascists.
T-Shirt Size Guide (in inches)
Uni-sex fit
XS
• Length: 27"
• Width: 16.5"
• Chest: 31" – 34"
S
• Length: 28"
• Width: 18"
• Chest: 34" – 37"
M
• Length: 29"
• Width: 20"
• Chest: 38" – 41"
L
• Length: 30"
• Width: 22"
• Chest: 42" – 45"
XL
• Length: 31"
• Width: 24"
• Chest: 46" – 49"
2XL
• Length: 32"
• Width: 26"
• Chest: 50" – 53"
3XL
• Length: 33"
• Width: 28"
• Chest: 54" – 57"
4XL
• Length: 34"
• Width: 30"
• Chest: 58" – 61"
5XL
• Length: 35"
• Width: 31"
• Chest: 62" – 65"
Women's Racerback Tank Size Guide (in inches)
XS
• Length: 26"
• Width: 15"
S
• Length: 26"
• Width: 16"
M
• Length: 27"
• Width: 17"
L
• Length: 28"
• Width: 18"
XL
• Length: 28"
• Width: 19"
This item is made-to-order and ships separately from the rest of your Lunar Landings goodies. Because it's printed just for you, it doesn't qualify for free shipping—even if your order total is over $75.
But don’t worry, we keep shipping rates as low as possible, and you’ll see the cost clearly at checkout. The planet wins (less waste), and you still get to set the world on fire—stylistically speaking. 🔥
Processing times vary depending on style & size.
Build Your "Don't Be A Dick" Bundle
2 shirts. All the rage you can wear.
Mix and match your favorite bold statements from best-selling Spring Flower Power collection—because your resistance deserves options. Whether you’re fighting for equal rights or calling out bigotry, this bundle lets you pick the two pieces that speak your truth loudest.
Your closet just got a lot more confrontational—in the best way possible.
Shirts To Remind Everyone Not To Be A Dick
Regular price
$63.00
Sale price
$63.00
Regular price
$70.00
Unit price
-
LOUD MESSAGE
-
ETHICALLY MADE
-
SUPER COMFY
Why This Merch Exists
We make candles that piss off the right people—and now you can wear the message too. This gear is ethically made, soft as hell, and printed to order.
Whether you’re heading to a protest, the post office, or a painfully awkward family dinner, it’s got your back.
Pictured: our “Burn The Oligarchy” tee
— also available as a tank, tote, and sweater.
Disruptive Design
Your shirt does the talking, so you don’t have to. Every piece is made to provoke, amuse, or agitate.
Values > Volume
No overstock, no trend-chasing. We print with purpose, not pressure.
From the Candle People
Yep—same weirdos behind your favorite “F*ck Trump” scent. This is a whole ecosystem of rage-powered gifting.
Common Questions About Our Merch
Is this merch ethically made?
Yes! All of our protest gear is made in sweatshop-free facilities and printed by our production partners using socially responsible practices. We care about people as much as the planet—and we’ll never cut corners when it comes to labor or materials.
Where is it printed and shipped from?
Our protest merch is printed and fulfilled in the U.S. by our trusted production partners. The blank garments themselves are responsibly sourced from facilities in Nicaragua, Mexico, Honduras, or the U.S.—all vetted for ethical manufacturing standards. Each item is made on demand just for you, which helps reduce waste and overproduction. So yes, it takes a little longer, but it’s better for the planet and the people making your gear.
Why does this ship separately from my candles & aromas?
Our protest merch is made and shipped separately from our nontoxic candles and clean home fragrance line, so shipping is calculated individually at checkout. (We still offer free shipping on orders over $75 on scented items—so if you wanna inhale a movement too, we’ve got you.)
What makes this different from the stuff on Amazon?
This isn’t fast fashion—it’s slow, intentional, and full of purpose.
From the soft, breathable fabrics to the bold, progressive messages, every item is made to help you speak up and show up without sacrificing comfort or ethics.
Do you actually donate to causes, or is that just marketing?
We put our money where our mouth is. Every Giving Tuesday since 2017, we donate to four nonprofit organizations—each one aligned with the causes that matter most to us: racial justice, LGBTQ+ rights, human rights, and environmental action. One for every season, every year.
In previous years we've donated to:
Planned Parenthood
It Gets Better
GLSEN
NAACP
Black Lives Matter
Latinas In Tech
No Kid Hungry
Native Hope
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Handcrafted by rebels for rebels.Bold scents. Snarky labels. Zero nasties.