Printed to order. Ethically made. Ready to disrupt brunch.
Why Our Merch Doesn’t Suck
100% organic cotton, reinforced stitching, 30lb capacity
Fuck The Patriarchy, Eco Tote Bag
Regular price
$40.00
Sale price
$40.00
Regular price
Unit price
Sturdy, ethically made, and just loud enough to get you side-eyed at Whole Foods.
✅ Printed to order. Ships separately from candles & aromas.
Say goodbye to plastic—and hello to problematically loud opinions in cotton form.
These organic totes are sturdy, roomy, and ready to carry groceries, books, snacks, rage, and receipts.
Whether you’re headed to a protest, the farmers market, or just passive-aggressively strolling past your neighbor’s lifted truck, this bag does the heavy lifting and the talking.
- 100% certified organic cotton
- Holds everything from kombucha to collective action
- Reinforced stitching for when the system won’t hold itself up
- Machine washable, obviously—because we’re not animals
Tote bag size guide:
• Fabric weight: 8 oz/yd² (272 g/m²)
• Dimensions: 16″ × 14 ½″ × 5″ (40.6 cm × 35.6 cm × 12.7 cm)
• Weight limit: 30 lbs (13.6 kg)
• 1″ (2.5 cm) wide dual straps, 24.5″ (62.2 cm) length
This item is made-to-order and ships separately from the rest of your Lunar Landings goodies. Because it's printed just for you, it doesn't qualify for free shipping—even if your order total is over $75.
But don’t worry, we keep shipping rates as low as possible, and you’ll see the cost clearly at checkout. The planet wins (less waste), and you still get to set the world on fire—stylistically speaking. 🔥
Processing times vary depending on style & size.
We weren’t born to obey—we were born to rise.
Our organic cotton tote bag is for the sisters, the allies, the cycle-breakers. For the ones holding each other up while tearing the system down. We’re done waiting for change—we are the change.
Elbows up! Together, we’re unstoppable.
Fuck The Patriarchy, Eco Tote Bag
Regular price
$40.00
Sale price
$40.00
Regular price
Unit price
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LOUD MESSAGE
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ETHICALLY MADE
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SUPER COMFY
Why This Merch Exists
We make candles that piss off the right people—and now you can wear the message too. This gear is ethically made, soft as hell, and printed to order.
Whether you’re heading to a protest, the post office, or a painfully awkward family dinner, it’s got your back.
Pictured: our “Burn The Oligarchy” tote
— also available as a tee, tank, and sweater.
Disruptive Design
Your shirt does the talking, so you don’t have to. Every piece is made to provoke, amuse, or agitate.
Values > Volume
No overstock, no trend-chasing. We print with purpose, not pressure.
From the Candle People
Yep—same weirdos behind your favorite “F*ck Trump” scent. This is a whole ecosystem of rage-powered gifting.
Common Questions About Our Merch
Is this merch ethically made?
Yes! All of our protest gear is made in sweatshop-free facilities and printed by our production partners using socially responsible practices. We care about people as much as the planet—and we’ll never cut corners when it comes to labor or materials.
Where is it printed and shipped from?
Our protest merch is printed and fulfilled in the U.S. by our trusted production partners. The blank garments themselves are responsibly sourced from facilities in Nicaragua, Mexico, Honduras, or the U.S.—all vetted for ethical manufacturing standards. Each item is made on demand just for you, which helps reduce waste and overproduction. So yes, it takes a little longer, but it’s better for the planet and the people making your gear.
Why does this ship separately from my candles & aromas?
Our protest merch is made and shipped separately from our nontoxic candles and clean home fragrance line, so shipping is calculated individually at checkout. (We still offer free shipping on orders over $75 on scented items—so if you wanna inhale a movement too, we’ve got you.)
What makes this different from the stuff on Amazon?
This isn’t fast fashion—it’s slow, intentional, and full of purpose.
From the soft, breathable fabrics to the bold, progressive messages, every item is made to help you speak up and show up without sacrificing comfort or ethics.
Do you actually donate to causes, or is that just marketing?
We put our money where our mouth is. Every Giving Tuesday since 2017, we donate to four nonprofit organizations—each one aligned with the causes that matter most to us: racial justice, LGBTQ+ rights, human rights, and environmental action. One for every season, every year.
In previous years we've donated to:
Planned Parenthood
It Gets Better
GLSEN
NAACP
Black Lives Matter
Latinas In Tech
No Kid Hungry
Native Hope
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Handcrafted by rebels for rebels.Bold scents. Snarky labels. Zero nasties.